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« Last I Heard - Part II | Main | Ogre-Sized M&Ms »

April 30, 2007



One day you woke up and decided to go shopping but you didn't want to go alone and all of your blogger friends had to work so who did you call? Katie Holmes. Katie was so excited to hear from you because she reads your blog and is your biggest fan. She said she would be right over.

She pulls up in a yellow ferrari and honks for you. But you insists that if she is your biggest fan that she must come up to the door to get you and meet Mark of course. So she get's out and comes in. Mark tells her that you need new panties and suggests that Katie takes you to Victoria's Secret.

When you two arrive and start shopping, you spot Mr. Jay looking at some very expensive thong underwear. You decide not to approach him due to fear of embarrassing him. So you keep shopping. After you pick out several cute and stylish underwear, Katie insists that she pay for them and hands you her credit card. A bitchy sales clerk says, "you can't use Katie's credit card". And you tell her that Katie is your biggest fan and that if she doesn't take the card that you are going to shove it down her throat. She takes the card.

You make your way down the street to the next shop and the girl working there is an old friend from high school. So you walk up to the chanel counter and tell this old friend that now you are hanging with a bigger and cooler crowd like Katie. She says, "well if she is really your friend then she would buy you one of our new handbags." Of course Katie jumps at the chance to buy you one.

You leave and she wants to take you to get waxed but it has to be from a special place. You ask, "where"? And she says, "it is at a salon that I couldn't FIND" so you grab the wheel of her car and your driving from the passengers seat.

You get so frustrated that you insist on going home and you say, "Don't ever call me again you crazy bitch!"

Was it something like that?

B. Good

Mmmm, pear sauce......


wow, you are insane. i mean that literally. call the men in white coats. NOW! :-P


Holy crap, woman. I would like to se the feature film version of this one!

Nicole P.

I had another dream involving people from high school (mostly teachers). Very weird.


ha ha! dang...Pear sauce? Is that like...cinnamon apples?

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