Everything I know about hiking...I learned wearing flip flops

I Feel I Must Address This Immediately

Dear Google Searcher,

I am very sorry that you have to be dealing with this.  That is quite unfortunate.  How did it happen?  Were you like Chance, just hoping to get a tiny taste of whatever we charred last on the bbq?  Did you get it out okay?  I'm guessing you weren't doing too poorly, considering you were able to type out the search and stopped to check out my blog while you were surfing.  I'm sorry that my blog didn't not address your problem and that you were able to find a way to remedy the situation.

Please be more careful. (oh! and Happy Halloween!)

Aimee

Happy Halloween!

Today is a day just like every other day.  Well, except I may or may not be carrying kitty ears in my purse - in case I have a Halloween emergency.  Well, that and I am eating candy for breakfast. 

Tonight I will (hopefully) get out of giving away the $20 in candy that I bought this morning (I also got a BIG black bowl with spiders in webs on it).  Mark and I will be bowling, leaving mom to her own devices - and the ringing doorbell.   I say, "ignore the little grabs" more candy for the rest of us!

Next year, I've decided that we're getting dressed up and going somewhere.  I figure I'll be a lollipop head by then, and I can wear some whore outfit with ears (see above).  I used to love getting dressed up for Halloween.  Our trick or treating was "safe" in that I pretty much just went to families houses (everyone lived so close!) or their neighbors that we knew.  I love hearing about costume ideas and what people dressed up as when they were little.  So, please, do tell!

As for me, (in no particular order) my mom would usually make me a costume.  These included: princess, angel, cheerleader, Santa Claus (I was a baby! shuddup!), a bunny, a clown, Pippi Longstocking, (yea, I'll get you a picture of that one right away. ha!), genie, bear, Maid Marian, Little Bo Peep.  That's all I remember.

One year, I remember my cousin Brenda and I went trick or treating in my grandma's neighborhood.  (she's 2 years younger I think).  I remember we went up to a house and the adult in the house creeeeeeecked the door open slowly, and them popped out and scared the beejeezus out of us.  Brenda FLEW down the driveway, while I stood my ground (dude! He had CANDY!)  The guy tried to convince Brenda to come back up and get some candy, but she wouldn't do it.  I had to bring it down to her.  He gave us extra because he felt so bad.  hee!

The year I remember best was the year I was 16.  My friend and I were trick or treating for canned goods (I know!) for school.  I was dressed as Maid Marian and she was dressed as a pirate.  We went door to door and collected canned/non-perishable food to take back to school for the big drive and contest (each class had to collect and then one of the classes would win and points would apply towards "most spirited" at homecoming or whatever.)  So, anyway, I was driving us from one grandma's neighborhood to another (it's less than 2 miles I'd guess).  I ended up turning in the wrong spot and got stuck on this front street.  I drove a short distance (6 yards maybe?) and made a u-turn into the next front street - I was on the wrong side of the road at the time.  Unfortunately, there was a cop car (in the bushes!) and he pulled me over.  BASTARD! 

I got a ticket and had to go to traffic school.  I don't even think we won homecoming week. (Jerk Seniors did!)  ACK!  Here I am doing a good deed, and I get SCREWED.  Plus, it erased all my other Halloween memories.  Sad, ain't it?  :)

Have a great evening, gang.  Drive safely! 

Have You Ever?

Yes, it is another Meme….brought to you today by Julie (and utter boredom!) You’re welcome.

Have you ever?

1. Snuck out of the house: Nope, I didn’t have any reason to.  I was boringly well-behaved…besides, the most trouble I could get into happened when I was at youth group.

2.Gotten lost in your city: I don’t think so.  You’d think I’d remember something like that.

3. Seen a shooting star: Yup.  It took me like 24 years.

4. Been to any other countries besides

Canada

: No, I am very sad.

5. Had a serious surgery: Does Wisdom teeth count? (I’m with you Julie)

6) Gone out in public in your pajamas: Duh, remember Finals week in high school?  Yeah.

7) Kissed a stranger........... Yep.

8) Hugged a stranger......... Yep – it’s called “family reunion”  ack!

9) Been in a fist fight........ Yes.  I was 12.  Bitch liked a boy who liked me.  She hit me and I punched her in the mouth….end up with a dislocated thumb and a black eye….she ended up getting jumped and hammered on pretty good (I had lots of friends).

10)Been arrested.......... No!

11) Laughed and had milk/coke come out of your nose...... the worst was applesauce.  ::shudder::

12)Pushed all the buttons on an elevator.......No way.  I just want to get there already!

13) Swore at your parents......... At them?  Not so much. Near them? Definitely.

14)Been in love....... Yes I am.

15)Been close to love....... ???

16) Been to a casino......... Yup, for the first time on my 18^th birthday. I won $115 on a nickel slot.

17) Been skydiving..........

No Way

!  I like living and having my stomach where it belongs.

18)Skinny dipped........... Why do you think I bought that little pool this summer? (kinda makes you not want to swim at my house, huh?) :P

19)Skipped school........... All the time!  LOL  Stephanie and I used to skip first period and go to Java city and eat muffins with cops. Very strange indeed.

20) Seen a therapist........ Physical therapist, yes.  For my knee.  Does it sound impressive when I say it was a jazz dance injury?  Does it sound goofy if I say that jazz dance involves white girls pop-n-locking? J

21) Done the splits........... almost

22) Played spin the bottle........... I don’t think so.

23) Gotten stitches.......... Yes in my mouth after my wisdom teeth

24) Drank a whole gallon of milk in one hour.......... Ew. No.

25) Bitten someone......apparently I bit my cousin when Iwas 2.  He still won’t stand next to me for family pictures.  Ha!

26) Been to

Niagara Falls

.......NO

27) Gotten the chicken pox....... Yeah.  I was 16 (I know!)  It was terrible.  But it did give me two weeks off school – and enough time to finish an extra credit project that brought my D to a B.

28) Kissed a member of the same sex....... Nope

29) Crashed into a friend's car........ LOL No

30) Been to

Japan

......... No.

31) Ridden in a taxi............ Yes, and you could fit about 5 bodies in the trunk of that thing!  Oh and I nearly died in a taxi driven by Bernie Mac on my birthday.

32) Been dumped........... Yup.

33) Shoplifted............ No

34) Been fired............. No

35) Had a crush on someone of the same sex.........No.

36) Had feelings for someone who didn't have them back........... Probably

37) Gone on a blind date............. Yup. God Bless the Internet

38) Lied to a friend............... Yup, probably when I told them it was a good idea to do something that we all know is a BAD IDEA.

39) Had a crush on a teacher............ Yes.

40) Celebrated Mardi-Gras in

New Orleans

........... Nope.

41) Slept with a co-worker............ No

42) Seen someone die............ No.

43) Had a close friend die........... Sorta

44) Been to

Africa

............ Nope.

45) Driven over 400 miles in one day..........

Hollywood

here I come!

46)Been to

Mexico

..........No.  So sad.

47) Been to

India

............. Nope<-- Wouldn't this have been covered above when you asked what countries I have been to? (exactly, Julie!)

48) Been on a plane............ Yep.

49) Seen the Rocky Horror Picture Show.............Yup – at the theater with the toilet paper and everything.  I got to Do The Time Warp Agaaaaaaaaiiiiiin!

50) Thrown up in a bar.......... No!

51) Purposely set a part of myself on fire.....HUH?

52) Eaten sushi.......... Yes

53) Been skiing/snowboarding............. Nope.  Thinking I’d like to try it though, but I’m a chicken.

54) Lost a child............. No.

55) Gone to college/university............ Yep.

56) Graduated college/university............. Yep.

57) Fired a gun................. Paintball gun.

58) Purposely hurt yourself................. Uh, no.

59) Taken painkillers............... Yeah!

60) Been intimate with someone of the same gender............... LOL No.

Wow, that was very informative.  let me know in the comments if you participate - except you all know I visit your sites and would find it eventually anyway! ha!

Too Much Ambition!

This weekend started out great...and got a little bit more difficult as time went on.  After work on Friday Mark and I met up with E&J and we headed out to the Governor's Mansion tour.  It was cheesy (as expected) but fun.  I just love the building.  Old architecture is so interesting.  After that we walked through midtown looking for somewhere to eat.  We put our names on a waiting list at the 33rd Street Bistro and decided to try another restaurant about 5 blocks farther down.  We got there and decided that it didn't look as good and so we walked back...just in time for them to call our names to be seated.  Yeah!!

Dinner was good, atmosphere was good, company was good.  We had a great time.  (The VERY STRONG pomegranate margarita put me to sleep though...I wouldn't be surprised if the main ingredient was roofies.  ::yawn:: 

On Saturday, I met up with Emily and Alicia and went to a rummage sale and an estate sale.  We found a few good things, grabbed Starbucks, and headed home.  This is when I came up with my "great" idea.  I wanted to redecorate the bedroom.  You know, move furniture and then redecorate (put up one of the new pictures that I bought at the estate sale).  So Mark and I went to Home Depot and bought cable to run halfway around the room so we could move the TV (and then the bed).  The entire project took up the rest of Saturday and most of Sunday. (I was moving all sorts of furniture and cleaning closets)  Add in about 8 loads of laundry, and then I'll spare you the details of the rest of the weekend.

Now I'm back at work - ready for a short week.  My new office hasn't gotten the "okay" to have me (and another new person) start yet.  Soooooo we're both playing a waiting game until we get official start dates.  I was supposed to start a week from today, and I was taking of Thursday and Friday...making THIS WEDNESDAY my last day.  I'm not seeing that happening now.  So I'll keep waiting. (ack! You KNOW I have NO PATIENCE!)

*****

Belle asked a question regarding my post about my friend who visited me in a dream.  She asked if either of us were spriritual or religious, and I figured I'd answer her here.  Belle, I am not religious, but I would consider myself spiritual.  I wanted to believe that there was more to life than here on earth.  (I think Monyca reassured me about that when she visited)  I remember a few years back my mom and I went to a conference where Sylvia Browne was the speaker.  She said something along the lines of when you die, there are two pathways - if you have learned everything you were supposed to learn, you go down one pathway to the "afterlife" and if you haven't, then you go through the other pathway and come back to earth to try again.  I guess the theory that living on Earth is the hell that we've always heard about - and it makes pretty good sense.   As for Monyca, I'm not sure if she was religious.  Her family was Catholic (but only went to church on holidays).  I hadn't seen her since she was 12 though - 6 years before her death, so things may have changed.

Thanks for stopping by, btw.

Have a great week, all!

Best. Search. Ever.

I got a hit today from someone doing a search for "perves on the net."  Super!!

Um, are you looking for ways to spot a perv?  Or did you just want to meet one?  I can offer a referral, but I need more information.

Friendly Face?

There is something about myself that I think I need to change.  Or, at least, be able to change when I need to.

Apparently something about my face makes people think I CARE.  What is it?  Do I look friendly? Sympathetic?  Desperate?  In the last two days I have had two different people tell me their life stories all because they weren’t allowed to by used items at a bargain price.

Scene 1:  40ish guy, looking to buy furniture.  When I tell him that he can come back another date to possibly bid on the furniture, he tells me that he is very busy on that day, and starts name-dropping. (the Governor, some TV personality).  He proceeds to tell me about what he has to do and that he’s very important and his work has been on all of these different networks, a, b, c. And that some people hope that the event will get rain, but he doesn’t because he has a million dollars worth of equipment that could get ruined.  At this point the electric doors open by themselves and he looks at it funny and I said, “maybe the car just pulled in and triggered it” (there was a car parked right outside it).  He replied, “oh no, that’s my BMW.”  Okay, if you have a BMW and a million dollars worth of equipment and you know 1.2.3….can’t you afford to pay more than $20 for a piece of furniture???

Scene 2:  Two men, 70ish and 40ish.  When they were told that the store was closed, he (the 70-year-old) began a very long-winded speech about how “the man” (he called him the CEO) was keeping everyone down and it’s about the all mighty dollar and how we all worship that – in his story I found out that he is the pastor of a church.  (the guy who was with him had apparently heard all of his stories before and proceeded to sit down and look bored at this point).  When he was told that he could sign up for our email list or check online periodically to see if we were open, he proceeded to tell me that he had no computer and that we can’t just assume people have computers because there are poor people who have no computers…but I wouldn’t understand “poor” (apparently being either 1) white, 2) young, 3) female, 4) under the assumption that everyone has internet access has made me a heartless bitch who doesn’t understand “poor.”  I however, was not heartless enough to tell him to take his depression-era ass out of here!  Luckily someone else came in and I had to excuse myself to speak with them.  Thank you random stranger!!

I’d like to point out (speaking of heartless!) that my coworker was hiding in her cube laughing under her breath fiendishly!  (She swears she wasn’t, but I’m no dummy!)

Seriously, Internet…What is it?  How do I fix it?  I want to give off that – I’m mean, don’t talk to me, I’ll cut you(!) vibe when necessary.  Should I invest in some gothic clothing or what?

Recaps and Other Scary Things

I'm with Carrie - Hotels are creepy.  Do you ever remember reading about this? (go ahead and click, I'll wait)  EWWWWWW!!!!!  Seriously, I always check under the bed at hotels now.  ::shudder::

In other news, in the first hour and a half that I was in the office I 1) talked to the advice nurse at my doctor's office TWICE b) subsequently yelled at and then hung up on the only female pharmacist at my pharmacy c) transfered said prescription, so now I have a NEW pharmacy d) spoke to (and was transfered to) 4 different people at the phone company.  My favorite part...when I called the phone company today (after trying to get ahold of a real life person 5 times yesterday) the automated system, after hearing my phone number said, "You've called here recently, is your issue still unresolved?"  uh, Yes. Yes, it is.

So anyway, Recaps and Commentary.

ANTM was kinda boring.  Tyra took more greasy black and white beauty shot pictures.  The girls met Dita Von Teese (who happens to be teenie tiny and absolutely adorable.  I love the way she speaks.  She is very articulate - like Marilyn Manson - I think they should be the new Brad and Jennifer.  I know!  I'm just sayin')

Oh, sorry.  I got on a little diatribe there.  Back to the action.  So, from that little meeting with DVT, we found out that the ANTM girls are either 1) completely NOT SEXY or 2) strippers (also, not sexy).  There was not happy medium.  Also, what the hell was Melrose wearing?  And THANK GOD Caridee was wearing panties. ::ick:: 

The challenge was to walk on a dinner table with a shiny plate (while being sexy) so that a table of skinny women can laugh at you and call you a heffer (Anchal!)  Melrose won (Go GIRL!) and got to do a photo shoot for Seventeen Magazine.  She asked Brooke and...uh, someone else to do it with her while Eugena said something bitter about it being a bad prize.  Or something.  Perhaps Eugena would approve if the prize were for microderm abrasion treatments. (several!) 

Later, the girls did "romance novel cover" photos with Fabio (I can't believe it's not butter!)  It was kinda boring - but again, Melrose totally rocked it.  As obnoxious as the other girls think she is, I think she's cute.  She's spunky, she takes good pictures, and she lacks just enough forethought and common sense to make for great reality TV.  If she were a TOTAL WHORE she would be kinda like Trishelle.  Who, for the record, is also quite adorable, even if she is drunken and slutty. 

Anyway, judging came and everyone was shocked because Jaeda wasn't in the bottom 2 - or even 3 - it came down to Eugena "dead eyes" and Brooke.  Brooke was sent packing and the whole world yelled NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!  And Brooke cried because it was also the night of her high school graduation, which she was missing and all to get thrown off the show too soon.  Tyra stopped her to lecture her on how it's so wonderful that she had the opportunity to dress up as K-Fed (I know!).  And everyone stopped crying long enough to give the "WTF" look to Tyra. 

On to LOST. (stop reading Emily!)

Lost was less boring than previous episodes this season.  Though, I think it was Jen who summed it up nicely: Just give me something or I'm going to get bored and walk away.  The Sawyer story line was good.  I like that he lost a little bit of his "mean" persona by putting that money into an account in his baby girl's name.  Awwwww!!

*****

That's about it for today.  I'm going to stop at the park again today and walk after work.  We didn't end up going yesterday because it was SO WINDY.  I didnt' want to be out in that crap any longer than I had to.  If I can make it through 2.5 more hours of work, I'll be happy.

Sheesh - Let's Try This Again

I'm having a hard time keeping up with the requests.  So, I have decided to reconfigure our housing situation for the afterlife.  Introducing the new high-rise condos available while supplies last (or at least until I have some actual work to do!)  I'm still taking applications!

Also, more scary stories.  I used to work in a haunted building.  The building used to be a hotel.  It was called the Traveler's Hotel.  In it there was a display of what the building used to look like when it was a hotel, along with a guest register and the old bellhop uniform and room keys (pretty neat!)

The basement of the building used to be a ballroom and the other floors were all room floors.  Legend has it that someone committed suicide in a room on the 6th floor...something about unrequitted love.

There was a ghost who used to mess with the elevator.  When you got in, different buttons would light up and you would end up on a different floor than the one that was lit half the time.  A lot of the times that it malfunctioned (ha!) it would go to the basement first, pick up no one, and then head up to the floor you'd chosed.  I believe we called that ghost Herman.

Some other stories relayed to me from the night security guard included a person who saw the apparition of a small child in the supply room (hiding behind racks of supplies).  Another incident involved a lawyer whose furniture kept being moved.  HUGE pieces of furniture - that would require 3-4 men to move - would be pushed into the middle of the room some mornings when he returned he came into his office. (They said that was a pain because they had to call movers to move the stuff back!)

My favorite story though involves the little boy that some people claimed to have seen.  One of my coworkers had this toy cat on her credenza.  It was a little fuzzy cat - about the size of a large kitten and it would meow if you pet it - or if it were picked up or otherwise moved.  And this little toy cat used to meow randomly during the day.  We were on the 6th floor of a BRICK building.  We were not feeling random vibrations or anything like that.  But something was making that kitty meow.  We figured the little boy was playing with it.  Cute, huh?

An Excuse to Make Money

I could make a killing selling condos in hell.  Anyone interested?  I have three units open RIGHT NOW!  Better grab them now, they won't last long!

Another Reason I'm Going To Hell (like you need another one!)

Good news first.  I bowled well last night.  I didn't bowl any 164's, but then I also didn't bowl any 88s.  So that's a good night.

The bad news: I have the third lowest average in the league.  The lowest average is a whopping 76 held by the woman who has a little girl that looks like a monkey.  Really!  I told Mark that the husband might want to get a paternity test because I think the little girl is actually Anthony Kiedis's (she totally has his giant monkey jaw!)  Oh and the other person that has a lower average than me?  Yeah, he's in a wheel chair.  GREAT!

Oh and remember Ms. Frumpy?  Yeah, she didn't talk to me this week.  But she did accessorize her frumpiness.  Did you know that gobs of black eyeliner totally go with grey sweatpants?  You didn't?  Now you do!  See, I'm totally performing an invaluable service here (for those of you and you who are so inclined...I will also provide the service of letting you know where you can buy vending machine "goods" before the holidays - see, I'm a giver!)

****

As I was driving to work this morning, they were telling scary stories on the radio.  Which reminded me - since the cemetery tours are all SOLD OUT (can you believe it!?) we decided to head to the Governor's Mansion for a haunted tour.  My mom and a friend and I went on a tour many years ago on Halloween at the Mansion.  It was cheesy.  The docents were al dressed in period costume - and had "ghost" faces.  Plus there were skeletons and whatnot and it was just silly and fun.  Well, I was looking for the real thing (I'm all about the ghost stuff!) 

So after the tour, I was talking to a couple of the docents (one was a young guy and one was an old guy).  I was asking them questions, given that the building was built in 1897 and the first Governor moved in in 1903 and thirteen different families all lived there up until 1967.  There has to be some juicy details right?  The one story I remember was from the younger guy (I think I put the other stories - from the old guy - out of my head) but he said that the other docents had been decorating the building, but that he had school or something that made it difficult for him to get by there.  The building has like 3 or 4 levels of windows on it - and he said that he drove by around midnight one night to see how the other docents had progressed with the decorating.

The next day he went in to volunteer and was talking to the other docents.  He told them that he really liked the decorations and that the ghostly figure in the top floor window was particularly frightening.  The other docents looked at him and said, "We only decorated the first two floors...it's too cramped up there to take the people through.  And sure enough when the guy went out to look up at the window - the figure wasn't there.

EEEEEK!

(anyone else notice the correlation between 13 families living in the Mansion?)

Okay and for those of you who need those Christmas gifts, I give you this:  Blake's on Telegraph in Berkeley.